Letting Go

UPDATED

My son with AS has undoubtedly the maturity of someone two thirds his age, but knows he is older and wants to be just like someone his age. Parents with special needs children find it hard to let go (my son is 18 and I’m finding it extremely hard to let go as well). Getting them ready to be independent is our task at hand. It is the “real” test that we are parents and that we are doing our job and to do it right, we must do it or else it won’t get done. We parents must face the inevitable because we cannot live forever and we want our kids to be able to take care of themselves. The list of what we must do seems incredibly daunting. So much to do, so little time. I keep telling myself I have to get off my big butt and plunge ahead and teach my son over and over again what he must do to survive.


Independent Living Skills: (not limited to these, but it’s a start)
(We started this years ago and my son can do most of it, but I want to make sure he can do it independently and without me nagging him to do it.)


1. Managing Money- understand how to pay bills, budgeting, loans, credit and debit cards, interest, taxes, writing checks, banking, etc.

2. Housing- general understanding of renting and types of rental housing, getting along with landlords, neighbors, roommates, sharing an apartment and/or bathroom with others, etc.

3. Food Management- finding healthy meals that they like, grocery shopping and putting items away, finding out when restaurants are open, figuring out when they can eat, ordering food at a restaurant, following recipes, meal planning, how to cook and clean up, etc.

4. Housekeeping- general housekeeping, laundry, making minor household repairs, etc.

5. Obtaining Help When Needed- where to go, how to ask, whom to ask, etc.

6. Personal Hygiene- maintain good personal hygiene, basic mending of clothes, etc.

7. Shopping- how to shop for things you need, comparison shopping, store items, etc.

8. Health- know when they are sick and what to do if they are sick, how to select a doctor, know how to make appointments for doctors and be on time for appointments, dress appropriately for the weather, basic first aid, understanding health insurance, know which medications they take, instructions, dosage, and the schedule of when to take them, etc.

9. Transportation- learn how to drive safely, know how to ride the bus and bus schedules, owning and operating a car, car insurance, etc.

10. Educational Planning- how to plan for their education, curriculum guidelines, general requirements for their major, schedule of classes, signing up for classes, what classes that still need to be taken for their major, knowledge of financial aid, Disability Services, when and how to get help in a class, communicating with instructors, etc.

Studying- know how to study for exams, how to choose what material to study and how to tell what the professor might include in the exam, etc.

Organizational strategies- how to work with others, being responsible for their own contribution to the group project, recording assignments, how to take notes, etc.

11. Emergency and Safety Skills- know and understand dangerous situations and strategies for staying safe. Know what to do in any situation.

12. Time Management (using their time wisely)- utilize your time the most efficient way, have a consistent routine, staying on task, etc.

13. Job Seeking- understand how to look for a job, apply for a job, fill out an application, interviews, etc.

14. Job Maintenance- how to dress for work, report to work on time, how to get a raise/promotion, understanding the legal rights of an employee, getting along with co-workers, etc.

15. Knowledge of Community Resources- know the location of the nearest post office, shopping center, etc. Knowledge of specialized resources to help them, etc.

16. Legal Skills- knowing who to call if they are arrested, what to do if they are arrested, what their rights are, etc.

17. Pregnancy Prevention/Parenting and Child Care- UGH!

18. Recreation and Leisure Activities- when, where, how much, etc.



Yes, it’s time to roll up our sleeves and get to work. Sooner rather than later.

Just take one day at a time and be sure to have plenty of beer on hand for yourself when it gets rough. Something tells me I’m going to need a few cases of beer REAL soon for #17.



For more info:

Agency Self Assessment- Casey Life Skills (CLS) is a set of free tools that assess the independent skills youth need to achieve their long-term goals. It aims to guide youth toward developing healthy, productive lives.

marylandpublicschools.org- Secondary Transition Toolkit
Community Assessments help your students prepare for independent living in their communities by assessing and inventorying their independent living skills and plan for community living. There is also an observation form that can be used with students in a community setting.

sites.google.com- Assessing Independent Living Skills

facs-web.squiz.cloud- Independent Living Skills – A checklist for young people in care

vaprojectlife.org- Youth Skills for LIFE is the independent living skills curriculum compiled by Project LIFE for young people who are in need of learning, enhancing, or supporting life skills to effectively transition into adulthood. The curriculum focuses on six of the National Youth in Transition Database (NYTD) categories, providing two to four workshops for each topic. Below each workshop topic you will find a Leader’s Guide and all of the necessary files you’ll need to facilitate the workshop. The resources are free for anyone to download.

itsmymove.org- Life Skills Training/Support Materials
Helpful links to curriculum to strengthen youth's application of life skills training and to help in completing the goals identified on the learning plan.

transitionta.org- Instructional Resources – Focus on Independent Living Preparation

overcomingobstacles.org- Life Skill Lessons, Activities, and More (all for FREE)