The “Mother Hen Syndrome”

My name is ______ and I have “Mother Hen Syndrome”. I constantly berate my son and tell him to do this or that. I have to keep him on his toes and make sure he wakes up on time, does his homework, his chores, leaves on time, takes his medicine, etc. I am afraid that he will falter and make a mistake and therefore hinder his education or deter in any way him communicating and interacting effectively with others.

I therefore have enrolled in a Naggers Anonymous (NA) group to cure myself of this overly protective maternal attitude. The scope of NA's program is much broader than just changing nagging behavior of the mother. The 12 Step Program encourages the transformation of the mother’s character, producing a personality change sufficient to recover from being a “Mother Hen” while abstaining from nagging, one day at a time.


The 12 Step Program consists of the following:

1. Admit you are powerless about being over protective—that your life has become unmanageable.

2. Believe that a Power greater than yourself could restore you to sanity.

3. Take action right away. Habits are hard to break and ignoring the situation just exasperates it.

4. Set one goal at a time and applaud the many little steps toward any goal.

5. Praise your child when they have done right. Do not say when they finally do it, “It’s about time!” that only makes the child not want to do it next time. Say “Thank you for setting the table.”

6. Mono task when you ask your child to do something. Stop what you are doing so they will understand that this really matters to you. Make eye contact, clearly state your request and thank him/her when it is done.

7. Communicate clearly and do not sugar coat your requests. Do not say, “If it is not too much trouble, would you please set the table?” That kind of wording sends a mixed message, especially to kids. “Please set the table” is much more effective. And avoid vague directives like, “Clean up your room.” Be concrete: “Make your bed and hang up your clothes.”

8. Use visuals. Put up a chart what needs to be done and when it must be completed. Also indicate what the consequence will be if it is not done. ALWAYS be consistent in following through with the consequences. This kind of checklist encourages your child to act on his/her own instead of just doing what we tell them.

9. Set up your child to succeed. Avoid situations that your child cannot handle. Know your child’s limits. If they do not know how to do something, teach them how to do it step by step. Give praise when they do a step correctly.

10. Let your child make mistakes so they will learn from them. It encourages independence and allows them to see how they can rectify the matter on their own.

11. Teach your child to use the following problem solving approaches:

Social Autopsies

or

spedsupport.tea.texas.gov- SOCCSS


12. When all else fails, take a break. Seek a quiet place and regroup. Get a bottle of wine and throw on a Hugh Jackman DVD to alleviate any stress.


*I hope this is an effective treatment for nagging. I have a funny feeling that I will be wearing out my Hugh Jackman’s DVDs really soon.