1. Never come alone to the meeting. Bring an advocate or better yet, a special education lawyer.
2. Find out who is coming to the meeting. Read your meeting notice to see who is scheduled to be there. Make sure the key people are there. If you want someone else to attend other than who is listed, even if they are school personnel, YOU must invite them. It is not school’s responsibility to do this, even if you ask them to.
3. Come prepared. Have an agenda of what you want covered during the IEP and a list of responses (laws, data, tests, etc.) that support your position(s). Bring your IEP Binder and put all information in it and bring to the meeting.
4. Be cordial and friendly. Greet each and every person at the IEP, shake their hand if possible, and make eye contact. Plaster a smile on your face. Give them a good impression that you are a willing participant in the IEP and that you want to work with them. Starting off on the right foot allows for good communication and therefore a good IEP should be within your grasp.
5. Keep your mouth shut. Listen to what they have to say FIRST. Allow others to finish what they are saying, even if you disagree. Repeat back a summary of what they said to avoid miscommunication. Once they agree that you understand them, then go ahead and state your views. Take notes to remind you what has been said, if needed.
6. Go over your concerns about the IEP that they have presented. Back up your concerns with data (teacher and parent observations, report cards, tests, books and papers, doctor suggestions, teacher and parent notes to each other, child’s classroom and homework papers, etc.).
7. If they try to reduce services or say that your child cannot receive the services any more, etc. (or anything else that you think your child needs), they MUST have Prior Written Notice. Always remember, you have to test into special ed. and you must test out as well.
Prior Written Notice
The precise content of the notice is in 20 U.S.C. 1415(c). The written notice has to describe the action proposed or refused by the school, explain why the school proposed or refused to take that action, describe any other options that the school considered and reasons why each of those other options were rejected, describe each evaluation procedure, test, record, or report the school used as a basis for their proposed or refused action, and describe any other factors that are relevant to the school’s proposed or refused action.
8. Avoid arguing. Your job is to (a) get what your child needs, and (b) maintain the parent/school relationship. Remember, that relationship is like a marriage without the possibility of divorce! If you cannot agree, ask to take that matter to the County IEP level, or to mediation, and move on.
9. Every service and support needed for your child must be written in the IEP.
10. Behavior plans must be a part of the IEP. If a child's behavior interferes with his or her learning, a behavior plan is required. Have training and supports for staff included in the IEP. Make sure the BIP covers specific areas your child needs to work on, and does not include globally applied words like “appropriate.”
11. Get it in writing on the IEP who is responsible for implementing each part. Nail down details like: Who is going to coordinate all team members in addressing your child's goals? Who will be making adaptations and modifications, scheduling trainings, ordering devices? Who will be looking at daily class activities and determining what it will look like for your child? In addition, you want to know who is doing what and when, and if trainings involved you want to be a part of it so that you can make informed decisions during discussions of the training.
12. Have the Accommodations & Modifications Checklist, Transition Across Grade Levels and Schools, and Student Orientation added to the IEP.
Accommodations & Modifications Checklist
Transitioning Across Grade Levels and Schools
Student Orientation
If they give you a hard time about adding documents to the IEP, refer to:
wrightslaw.com- Role of Parents
Parent IEP Attachment- Information on what it is, your rights, what to include, templates, etc.
13. Have Staff Training & File added to the IEP
To make sure there is safe learning environment that supports academic achievement for your special needs child, you should request training of all personnel that comes in contact with your child BEFORE the start of each school year. Also have a File to Give Teachers For AS Training added to the IEP
If they give you a hard time about adding documents to the IEP, refer to: Staff Training- Consider giving each person that comes to the training sessions a file explaining your child’s special needs. Include relevant facts with interventions and strategies on how to best teach your child and other pertinent information that will help them understand your child’s unique needs.
14. Check to see what the IEP includes.
wrightslaw.com- Individualized Education Program A checklist of what should be in an IEP
SMART IEPs- IEPs that are specific, measurable, use action words, are realistic and relevant, and time-limited.
15. Review the IEP before accepting it. Take it home and read it thoroughly. Be sure the goals are specific, measurable, action words, realistic and time specific. Make sure all areas are addressed, including extended school year, transition, supports, modifications, etc. Check if assistive technology is needed, there is full time access, and it is written into the goals. If your child will use a word processor/computer of any sort, make sure that there is an accommodation that states that they will have access to a printer.
16. What do you do when you disagree with the IEP?
Do not feel pressured to make a decision.
Most schools ask that you sign the IEP form. If you refuse to sign, the IEP can still be implemented as is after 20 days, unless the parent has asked for mediation or due process. If you do not agree, simply sign your attendance sheet at the IEP meeting to document your presence.
wrightslaw.com- How to Handle Disagreements at IEP Meetings
wrightslaw.com- How to Disagree with the IEP Team Without Starting World War III
wrightslaw.com- 8 Steps to Better IEP Meetings: Play Hearts, Not Poker
17. Write a letter after the IEP meeting. When you get home, write a nice thank you letter to the head or leader of the IEP team. (See chapters about Letter Writing in “From Emotions to Advocacy” by Pam Wright & Pete Wright. Or wrightslaw.com- The Art of Writing Letters
In the letter state what is needed in the IEP and why it is needed. Back up your concerns with data (teacher and parent observations, report cards, tests, evaluations, books and papers, doctor suggestions, teacher and parent notes to each other, child’s classroom and homework papers, etc.).
End the letter positive saying that you are looking forward to hearing from them soon and also thank the IEP team for considering your concerns and comments.
An excellent resource is the wrightslaw.com- Letter to a Stranger. It shows how to go about stating something very succinctly and kindly, yet driving your point home.
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