Church & Respect

Remember “those” looks you received when you brought your special needs child to church?






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Remember what happened when your child did something out of the ordinary?







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Remember the snide remarks and attitudes thrown in your direction when your child did not behave during church?





Teaching your special needs child how to behave in church is quite an undertaking. This is true even with NT children as well. We have all seen it and know how it feels when our children are uncontrollable and reek havoc all over the church. Children can be noisy, they can run down the aisles, crawl under the pews, eat, and what not. It’s enough to make you cringe and declare that the child isn’t yours, but a neighbor’s from down the street.





Jesus said, “Let the children come to me” and children need to be in church so they can learn about our faith and be part of the congregation so how can this be done without causing problems?


1. Prepare your child in advance. Teach your child about how they are to behave in church and why.

Say to your child: “How should you behave at church? What should you not do in church? Can you run in church? Why should we not run in church?” (It does not show respect to God and it is not good manners.) “God doesn't come to your house and run around. You shouldn't run around in his.” Discuss. “If you ran in church, what would other people do? Discuss other bad behaviors and manners that kids do in church. How would someone in church react if they saw you do something bad? Discuss. How would your parents feel? Discuss. Why are good manners important at church?” (Because you should respect God's house.) Etc. Discuss.


And/Or you can do:

Social Stories for Church- Social stories are an effective method of providing both guidance and direction to promote self-awareness, self calming, and self-management in responding to social situations. The technique involves creating a short story that describes the situation and includes appropriate actions and expressions. By creating a short story, the situation is described in terms of relevant social cues, anticipated actions and information on what is occurring and why. The stories are written according to specific guidelines based on Gray’s extensive use of this technique. The story is also customized for the individual and their circumstance.


2. Do this lesson with your child: Church & Respect


3. Bring quiet activities for your child to do (books, coloring, etc.) if needed. Give praise to your child for good behavior.


4. Sit in the back so you can easily get to the Cry Room if your child (or the parent) needs a break.


5. Expect good days and bad days. No one is perfect and remember to take one day at a time.