Advocating: There is a Right Way and a Wrong Way

I stopped teaching years ago and I do not regret it one bit. I was an itinerant Orientation & Mobility Specialist and Vision Teacher (I was duel certified) for the whole county. Over the years I have taught in different counties and in different states. I don't know how I did it for as long as I did, but you do what you have to so you can pay the bills. I got so tired of walking that tightrope day in and day out trying to teach my students and getting along with their teachers. Needless to say I learned invaluable lessons on how to deal with various school personnel and parents of special needs children. Never did I dream that all this ‘special’ education would be used on my own child later on when he was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome.

I keep telling parents that they MUST work and collaborate with the school so their child can receive the best possible education available. Fighting with the school just makes them want to say NO to everything. Once you are labeled a ‘Trouble Maker’ or a ‘Pain in the Butt’, the school will totally ignore your pleas and your child will suffer. No one likes working with anyone that will not cooperate.

Yes, I am all for advocating for your child, but there is a right way and a wrong way of doing it. Remember, you have to deal with these people for years. Scoff all you want, but word gets around if you are an advocating parent from h*ll the schools will not want to help your child. Several times I have heard and witnessed parents becoming so enraged while advocating for their child that the police had to be called to remove them from the school campus.

Remember that it is not the school’s job to do everything possible for your child. They only do what is "appropriate" so your child can be educated in the least restrictive environment and receive FAPE (if you are lucky). After fighting tooth and nail for certain special education services you might find them sorely lacking (as in our case, we sure did). Find help elsewhere. You might have to pay out of pocket for this (insurance can help for some), but we are glad that we thought outside of the box and got the help our child needed. He wouldn’t be where he is today if we had not gone and found tutors, psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, etc.

Parents can also get a special education lawyer, but they cost big bucks and finding a good one is like looking for a needle in a haystack. Mediation and Due Process is another alternative which can be costly and sometimes takes a loooooooong time so keep that in mind. Hopefully, things will work out when going through this grueling process and your child will benefit from this endeavor. Even IF you win your legal battle, it doesn’t necessarily mean you received everything you wanted and is often only surface success.

There is also a major shortage of qualified special education teachers and all the school system has to do is post the teaching position at the county office and make a half-hearted attempt to try to find the personnel that they need. Certain teaching positions can remain vacant for years and during this time your child is not receiving what he/she needs. Case in point, when I resigned from my teaching position, they did not have an O & M Specialist in my county for several years.


So what’s a parent to do?

1. Create and maintain a good relationship with your child’s team and school.

2. Educate yourself all about your child’s diagnosis. Learn the best ways to educate your child and the techniques that are available.

3. Educate and inform yourself all about special education. A good book for this is Wrightslaw: From Emotions to Advocacy - The Special Education Survival Guide” by Pam and Pete Wright. I advise parents to read this, learn it, and KNOW it! It sure helped me with straightening out the school system and keeping my sanity.

4. Create a paper trail. Document everything that has to do with your child. Keep logs and notes from all meetings, conversations, and phone calls, copies of emails and written messages from the school, etc. Remember that good record keeping is vital to effective advocacy for your child (you will need this information if you do Mediation or Due Process). Keep all school information organized and handy. IEP Binder

5. Get a comprehensive Independent Evaluation of your child.

6. Prepare and know What To Do At IEP Meetings.

7. Work and collaborate with the school so your child can receive the best possible education available.

8. Get an advocate or good special education lawyer.

9. If you have disputes with the school consider doing Mediation and Due Process

10. Pray for guidance, help, and understanding. You’re sure going to need it.



So how do you advocate for your child?