Helping a "New" Special Needs Parent

What would you say to someone who has just learned that their child has special needs? What do you wish someone had said to you?

When my son was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome, I was overwhelmed and I didn’t know what to do. How I wish someone could have steered me in the right direction at that time, but somehow I persevered. I knew I had to help him so this is what I did and it might be useful to others as well.


1. Educate yourself all about your child’s diagnosis. Learn the best ways to educate your child and the techniques that are available.

2. Inform your relatives and friends about the diagnosis. They need to be told so they can come to terms with the diagnosis. They can also give you help and support.

3. When your child is diagnosed with a disability you need to find a local support group to talk and learn from others on how they cope with having a child with special needs. Meeting others like yourself enables you to feel that you are not alone and that there are people who can help. Parents can benefit greatly from these groups and they can help in so many ways.

4. Educate and inform yourself all about special education. A good book for this is Wrightslaw: From Emotions to Advocacy - The Special Education Survival Guide” by Pam and Pete Wright. I advise parents to read this, learn it, and KNOW it! It sure helped me with straightening out the school system and keeping my sanity.

5. Get a comprehensive Independent Evaluation of your child.

6. Create and maintain a good relationship with your child’s team and school.

7. Prepare and know What To Do At IEP Meetings.

8. Work and collaborate with the school so your child can receive the best possible education available.

9. Remember to take time for yourself and allow yourself mistakes in dealing with your special needs child. No one is perfect and having a special needs child does not come with a manual on how to best help your child. Having a child with special needs is a life long battle that parents will have to deal with from day to day. Recognizing that there is no way to anticipate the unexpected you should just take one day at a time.

10. Pray for guidance, help, and understanding. You’re sure going to need it.