Trials & Tribulations (Part 19)- Life Skills In College

After careful thought and deliberation, I thought others would find this interesting about our battle with Asperger Syndrome. If anyone would like to post about their trials and tribulations, please leave a link so we can read your story. :)

This is written in the third person.


To help M cope with the day-to-day life at campus, his parents made sure he could do things independently so he could survive at college. Over the years his parents made sure he could choose healthy meals, do laundry, clean his room and bathroom, get along with others, how to obtain help when needed, get to class on time, dress appropriately for the weather, maintain good personal hygiene, how to share a bathroom with others, etc. They also taught him how to study for an exam, how to make appointments and meet with professors, when to get additional help, organizational strategies for studying, how to work with others during projects, being responsible for their own contribution to the group project, etc.

During several occasions M also met with his parents and they discussed numerous issues that M needed prior to going off to college. M’s parents made sure that he asked questions and participated in figuring out what topics are of concern and what needed to be addressed.


Safety and Emergency Preparedness: M should know and understand dangerous situations and strategies for staying safe. Discuss a general strategy of what to do in any situation.

Situations might include:

• Safety at night (stay near groups of people rather than walking alone, staying near lit areas, and avoiding dark parking lots, garages, alleys, etc.).

• Safety in apartments/dorms (keeping your room locked, finding out who is at the door before opening it, how to keep your things safe, not giving out personal information to others, etc.).

• Procedure to follow if there is an emergency (who to contact when an emergency happens, phone numbers of who to call, etc.)

• “Lock it or lose it” is the message for personal property, including the laptop in your room. Whenever you leave your room, always lock the door. Even if you just go across the hall to see a friend or go to the bathroom, always lock your door.

• Program campus security’s number into his cell phone immediately.

• Be sure to sign up for E2 Campus Alerts to receive information directly from UMBC.
UMBC has partnered with e2campus to create an emergency alert system using your text messaging or email. Emergency alerts also will show in myUMBC. This service will only be used for alerts deemed as urgent or critical to the UMBC community.



Personal Safety- Crime Reporting Procedures, Walking & Running on Campus, Emergency Phones, Rape & Sexual Assault, Theft, Proactive, etc.

Emergency Responses at UMBC- Evacuation, Threats, Weather & Natural Emergencies, Fire Safety, Health Alerts and Pandemic Flu, Emergency Resources, Property Insurance, etc.

Inclement Weather and Emergency Closing Procedure- It is the responsibility of each community member to check the homepage and hot line telephone numbers for up-to-date information regarding campus opening/closing status. Information will be posted on myUMBC, but there may be a time delay between when the announcement is entered and when it appears on the site, so please rely on UMBC's homepage as the primary source for closing information. This procedure will be operational seven days a week, 24 hours a day. The hot line number is 410-455-6789 (or ext. 5-6789 from on campus).



Health: M should know when he is sick and what to do if he is sick. Explain how to use the University Health Services and Counseling Center and visit them. Give M a basic First Aid kit to put in his room to use when needed and teach him how to use all the items.



Apartment/Dorm Life: M should know all about:

• The Do’s and Don’ts of Dorm Life

• Rights and Responsibilities of living in a dorm

• Housing- Your Housing License, Breaks & Closings, Suite Condition Report, Check Out, Housing Selection, Key & ID Cards.

• Student Agreement Form- This tool will help M and his roommate(s) establish living expectations for the year. Having all the rules written up enables the student to visually see what they must do and helps ASD individuals learn how to get along with others which is something they need to do independently throughout their lives. M should fill out a sample Student Agreement Form to provide him the experience of doing one and thoroughly discuss it with parents. This will help M know what he wants while living with others prior to filling out the form with his roommates when he moves into his dorm. M should also know who to go to when problems arise. When conflicts occur, M should first try to work it out with his roommate(s). If no agreement can be made, M and his roommate(s) should seek advisement from the RA.

• General Services- Cable, Internet Access, Community Desks, Community Rooms, Facilities Reservations, FXIT: Submit a Work Order (Maintenance) Request, Ice, Keys, Swipes & Identification Cards, Laundry, Mail, Phones, Toilet Tissue, Transportation, Vacuum Cleaners, Vending Machines, Voice Mail, Housekeeping, Extermination Cycles, Recycling & Green Initiatives

• Getting Along With Your College Roommate- suggestions that might help make living with a roommate much easier.


Dining Services and Meal Plans: M should know all about:

• Places to eat and their names, locations and hours of dining options, menus, maps,

• Reward Dollars

• Meal Plan FAQs

• Meal Plan terms and conditions, etc.

• How to use the Dining Services and Meal Plan that he chooses and visit all dining locations.



Student Support Services: M should know the location and who to contact at SSS when he needs help. M should also be aware of his responsibilities while participating in Student Support Services. M should fully understand SECTION III Agreement to participate in the SSS.



When In Doubt: M should call his parents on his cell phone at any time. M can also use Skype.


Information Binder: M and his parents made an Information Binder to help M figure out the likely pitfalls with daily living on campus. All relevant information was put in a binder with dividers about the college and the strategies that he can use for easy access when needed. M can add whatever material he needs to the binder for later retrieval.



What If Scenarios: After thoroughly going over the above information and M reviewing the information using the Information Binder, M’s parents gave him scenarios of problems that could happen in college and M had to tell what was the right thing for him to do. M parents also explored and evaluated the different choices together with M. (Parents added this section to M’s Information Binder.)

Situations would include:

• A roommate is physically or verbally threating or abusive to you. (Talk to the RA and/or the Community Director or Dean of Students immediately. The RA can be found in their room and the Community Director down at the front desk. Call the University Police at extension 5-5555 for emergencies. Dial x5-3134 for non-emergencies.)

• Your roommate violated a rule on the Roommate Contract. (First try to work it out with your roommate(s). If no agreement can be made, you and your roommate(s) should seek advisement from the RA. If that doesn’t work, go to the Community Director.)

• You becoming stressed out over college life or you are terribly homesick. You haven’t made any friends and you’re feeling lonely and depressed. (Call your parents and let them know how you feel. Reach out for support to help you to cope with or resolve your problems. Talk with your RA or Community Advisor or contact the UMBC Counseling Center. Remember there is no charge for services provided at the Counseling Center.)

• You are sick after hours of the University Health Services and need to see a doctor. (If there is a medical emergency when UHS is closed, students may call University Police at extension 5-5555. The police will contact the on-call physician for UHS and the physician may contact the student, or suggest an ambulance be called.)

• Your roommate(s) are quite different from you. They enjoy socializing and going to parties. They pressure you to buy them liquor. (You tell them that you cannot do it because it is against the law and against school policy. If they persist, talk to your RA or Community Director.)

• Something is broken in your dorm room. (For all communities, except Walker Avenue, you should call FXIT for things (non-emergencies) that need to be repaired/fixed in your room or common area. For a facility emergency during office hours call the FXIT line, x5-FXIT (5-3948). For a facility emergency after hours call your front desk and staff will contact the Maintenance Assistant (MA) on duty. For questions about the status of a request call x5-FXIT (5-3948).

• Your roommates are being noisy, what do you do? (Ask them politely and say, “Would you please keep it down?” or “It is designated Quiet Time. Please be quiet so I can study.” If they refuse, talk with your RA or Community Director.)

• Someone put something on your bed and it is dirty or wet. (Ask them nicely, “Could you please move your shoes off my bed?”)

• You need to vacuum your room. (Staffed by students, the residence hall or apartment desk provides a variety of services for residents including the distribution of mail, toilet paper and vacuum cleaners. In the residence halls, desk staff check the ID's of all individuals who wish to enter the building. You may also go to the desk to report for Facilities related emergencies.)

• You ran out of toilet paper. (Toilet tissue is available to hall and apartment residents free of charge at all desks. To get a new roll of tissue, simply stop at the desk and pick one up.)

• You need some ice. (Ice is available, free of charge, for your personal use at your residence hall desk or apartment laundry room. You will need to provide your own cup or container. No large coolers please.)

• You get locked out of your room. (If you get locked out of your room, go to your community desk to get a temporary key/swipe card and return it within 30 minutes. If this key is not returned by noon the next business day, a lock change (re-core) will occur and the cost will be billed to your student account.)

• You lose your key or ID. (If you lose your key or ID, except in Walker Avenue, report this to the community front desk immediately. Walker residents need to report a lost key to the Walker management office. Your key or ID is for your use only & you may not lend your key or ID to others.)

Patapsco West, Potomac, Hillside, Susquehana residents ONLY: if you lose your red UMBC ID—which is also your room key—you’ll need to go to the Campus Card office first to get a replacement card. You can be issued a temporary card from the Front Desk. There is a $30 charge to your student account or a $20 charge if you pay cash at the Campus Card office. You’ll then need to bring your red UMBC ID to Residential Life office to have it re-programmed—there is an additional $30 fee. There is also a $20 fee if you lose the temporary ID.

• You need to see an advisor or someone at SSS. (Call them directly using the number they gave you on their business card which is located in the CONTACTS section of your information binder and make an appointment to see them. Write the appointment down in your student planner/agenda book and see them the designated day and time.)

• Your roommate is a slob and will not pick up their mess. (Tell your roommate that the common room and/or bathroom is a mess. Have them consult the Roommate Contract. Discuss the cleaning schedule and make sure it is posted. If that doesn’t work or they refuse, talk with your RA or Community Director.)

• Midway through the semester, you realize that your roommate smokes marijuana and he likes to do it in his private room or in the common room. What should you do? (Tell him or her, "According to UMBC rules smoking is not allowed in the rooms. If you want to drink or do drugs, please do it somewhere else." Have them consult the Roommate Contract relating to drugs and alcohol in the room. If that doesn’t work or they refuse, talk with your RA or Community Director.)

• Someone threw up all over the bathroom and did not clean it up. (Find out who did it and ask them to please clean it up. If that doesn’t work or they refuse, talk with your RA or Community Director.)

• Your roommate wants to have a drinking party in their private room or common room. You and your roommate signed a Roommate Contract agreeing that there are to be no parties in your private room or common room. (Have them consult the Roommate Contract. If that doesn’t work or they refuse, talk with your RA or Community Director.)

• Your roommate’s girlfriend spends the night in your roommate’s room every night. You and your roommate signed a Roommate Contract agreeing that no one can spend the night more than 3 nights in a row. (Have them consult the Roommate Contract. If that doesn’t work or they refuse, talk with your RA or Community Director.)

• Your roommate’s friend made a mess in the bathroom or common room. (Ask them to please clean it up. Tell your roommate according to the Roommate Contract they are responsible for their guests at all times. If that doesn’t work or they refuse, talk with your RA or Community Director.)


• Any other questions or concerns?